Attitudes to avoid at work

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There are many proactive avenues to mindfulness, including reframing. After a negative experience, reframing after the fact can allow you to see the blessing in disguise and the lesson learnt from the pain. However, remaining mindful at all times and in the moment can be a bit more of a challenge.

One area where mindfulness is required is our attitudes and behaviours at work. Just because you’ve secured the position at your workplace doesn’t mean your interview is necessarily over. Your bosses, managers and colleagues are constantly assessing you as an employee and a co-worker via your attitudes and actions.

Here are 4 mindsets that may be holding you back at work and in your career in general.

 

  1. The pessimist

If you find yourself constantly focussing on the negative in a ‘doom and gloom’ light, it’s likely you’re spending your time in a pessimistic mindset. You may be constantly expecting things to fail or go wrong, unable to trust others to perform their roles or jobs and are waiting for rejection. Often people act pessimistic as a way to cushion their ego, thinking that when/if things do come crumbling down they’ll be able to say, “well I knew it wouldn’t work out” and save face. However, the way this comes off to others is that you’re a bit of a ‘kill joy’ and a negative person to be around. At work, you may miss out on opportunities due to your inability to see the light and focus on the bad and you’re less likely to be included in group projects or invited to out-of-office functions.

Switching out of a pessimistic mindset requires work, but there are things you can do to see the good over the bad. One way is to look for the opportunity out of the problem, or the lesson. The biggest difference between a pessimist and an optimist is that optimists don’t let pessimistic thoughts cloud their mind and instead take something from it that will benefit them in the future. They also move on quickly and don’t allow themselves to dwell in the “what if’s” of the past.

At work, being less of a pessimistic and leaning more toward optimism will show your boss that you’re passionate about moving forward and take failure or mishaps as a learning curve. The willingness to self-improve is a great characteristic and shows maturity.

 

  1. Being overly apologetic

Although being able to admit fault is a humbling trait, apologising more than necessary will constantly reinforce to others that you are actually at fault and/or incapable. It also will give off the impression that you lack confidence in yourself and your abilities at work if you immediately doubt yourself and apologise for what you’ve said or done in the office. There could be a deeper meaning to this in your personality such as a fear of rejection or an anxiety about not being liked by others as you minimise yourself.

Unfortunately, always apologising dilutes your apology when you genuinely have made a mistake that you need to fess up to and admit your fault. This will also backfire at work in a ‘boy who cried wolf’ scenario where the words don’t have as much meaning because they’ve been over said.

At the end of the day, there’s no need to apologise for asking a question, for things you did not do, for things that are out of your control, your appearance, not being right all the time or your feelings. Next time you go to apologise, ask yourself first did you do something that was against the rules or was offensive to another? Become more mindful with your inner thoughts and feelings and work out whether or not you’ve crossed a line or whether you’re just anxious or ashamed.

Some switches and rephrases for the over-apologisers:

  • “I’m sorry to bother you” becomes “Do you have time to assist me with this?”
  • “I’m sorry this isn’t what I asked for” becomes “Unfortunately this isn’t entirely correct”
  • “I’m sorry if this is wrong” becomes “let me know if you have any changes.”

 

  1. Resisting change

Nothing screams “I am not a team player” louder than being resistant to the changes and upgrades that occur in your workplace and/or team. If things happen unexpectedly without proper communication they may come as a shock to you, but a great trait to have as an employee is to take all new changes on board and use them to your ability. You may not like what’s occurring, but showing you’re willing to try says a lot about your personality and your ability to deal with some turbulence.  It takes an optimist to make lemonade out of lemons, so rather than thing of all the things you don’t like about the changes, look to how they could help yourself, your work or your co-workers.

If you take on these changes, you’ll likely develop a growth mindset and attitude and show that you’re a flexible member of staff who is approachable and grasps opportunity.

 

  1. Perfectionism

It’s great to have a keen eye for detail, but when it tips over the edge and you’re grappling with perfection you may be suffering from a serious case of overthinking. The world isn’t perfect, things go wrong and presentations may not be tuned to perfection prior to work meetings, however maintaining a white-knuckled grip on the outcome will do you no favours. Try not to set a standard that will lead you to disappointment and instead pursue a ‘good enough’ attitude. It doesn’t mean your work will be sub-par but it shows that you’re a realist and not a time waster.

Pulling away from perfectionist tendencies will also allow you to have a better work/life balance and minimise anxiety.

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